In 1992, Mary J. Blige dropped Real Love. It was the second single from her debut album What’s the 411. In the song Mary sings about looking for real love … the kind that will set your heart free. Took her years, but seems like she found it with Kendu. I am wondering if the ladies of today – and the girls of tomorrow – will ever find that type of real love. I mean, it seems like love is a lost art, especially in the black community … or is it that we just don’t understand what real love is all about?
Real love is about honesty, trust and communication.While I don’t agree with everything that happens between Evelyn Lozada and Chad Ochocinco, and I don’t believe they will ever get married, I do believe that one conversation they had during the season demonstrated they types of open, honest conversations that couples need to have to develop trust and lasting relationships.
During one of the first episodes of Season 4 of Basketball Wives, Evelyn and Chad had a heart to heart discussion about his infidelity. During the conversation Chad didn’t deny that he had needs and that he would likely fulfill those needs even if she wasn’t there to do it. Evelyn didn’t flinch at that thought. She responded that while she didn’t encourage him to sleep with other women, she understood, and said use condoms. Social networks blew up when she made that announcement. Black women across the country blasted Evelyn for giving her man the green light to cheat … but is that really what she did?
Chad was honest. I can respect an honest person because in the end you have the power to make an informed decision. Evelyn did just that. She made decision to accept that her fiance may cheat. It was an informed decision and one that she felt she could live with.
Men will tell you that they often won’t tell the truth because they fear the consequences. If we all learned that true honesty doesn’t mean we tell a person what they want to hear – and we learn that once we have the truth we have the power – we will have better relationships.
Truth and open communication leads to trust, which is ultimately the recipe for real lasting love.
#beaapproved
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Evelyn Lozada Dishes About Her Wedding
