Terrell Owens, better known to most as TO, was on Dr. Phil yesterday facing off with three of the women with whom he has children (He has four children by four different women). The interview was painful to watch, but through it all I learned a few things about TO:
1. TO doesn’t waste his money on popping bottles in the club. A large portion of the conversation with the mother’s was spent talking about money – the money TO paid out in child support, his inability to now pay the agreed upon amounts in child support, and the women’s desire for lots of child support dollars. When confronted about the lifestyle he lives and why he wasn’t able to pay child support for his kids, TO said that anyone who knows him knows he doesn’t waste his money. He doesn’t pop bottles in the club. Hmm, guess the bottle popping we saw on your VH1 show was being paid for by someone other than you. And assuming that is true … that was the first time you have ever popped bottles. Interesting. Even more interesting was his statement that the houses and cars he owned (up to 7 really expensive cars and several homes) were investment properties and cars for family members. Okay, Terrell … sure.
2. TO isn’t responsible for being a deadbeat dad because he didn’t have a dad to teach him how to be a dad. This is often a statement made by men who are accused of being deadbeat parents. While I agree there is some validity to the statement that we must be taught before we know how to do, I don’t think that is true with parenting … and honestly you can’t really teach everything. You learn a lot on-the-job. But when it comes to parenting, it’s almost always a job you learn as you go. And if you want to continue with your argument about being taught, there was a lesson, a teachable moment, in not having a parent. What you learn when you have an absent parent is what NOT to do. You learn what it feels like to not have a parent in your life. Start there and make it a point to NOT be absent. Wayne said it best – just do it. Just be a man and take care of your kids and your kid’s mother (even if you aren’t with her).